Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in soul44's LiveJournal:

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Monday, November 13th, 2006
4:48 pm	lol WHEN YOU WERE YOOOOOOOUUUUUUuuuunnnnggggg!!!!! I Love that sodn. da da da dadada i dont know blahzy blah HE DOESNT LOOK A THING LIE JESUSSSSS BLAH BLAH were yooouuuunnnggg! (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
11:33 am	Right now i'm just chilling at my job, Boy's and Girls CLub. I should have left on lunch break but them tricks dipped out. It's all good. Some a da homies hooked me up with some bread, ball on e, cheese and some other meat and i had a feast. This summer has been cool though. earlier this summer i went to the river with Jeff, Jay, Elvia and Evelyn. That was fun as hell. We got pretty nice and were laughing and cracking jokes the whole time. I felt really adult and relaxed just floating down the river for a couple of hours. The part that sucked was that the girls had glass and the worker had to throw the 4 bottles away. That hurt my feelings. I was almost permanent salt but it was okay. We had alot of fun though and i haven't been since. About 6 groups of friends had gone and a couple of them didnt tell me about it. Well kids are starting to come up in here and i don't want them all up in my grill so i'll holla later. 1 Current Mood: content Current Music: AA Rejects- Night Drive (acoustic) (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 13th, 2006
1:38 pm	Wal-Mart Humor So i'm at Wal-Mart with my dad and we are in the toothpaste aisle and he looks at the Colgate and in thinking voice he say's "Colgate." I'm like "Nah, don't get it here. The dollar store has them for like a dollar." This lady all the way down the aisle just bust out laughing and i didnt have a clue why. i was thinking that maybe she was on a cordless phone or something. She turns over to us and say's something like "I'm sorry, it's just funny... [copying me] the DOLLAR.. has it.. for a DOLLAR!... hahaha that's just cute." At first I was thinking "Mind your own business bitch! you know very well what i'm trying to say... get a job you nosy bastard." Even though it is kinda funny i didn't laugh with her close to my average potential. I quickly carried on with what i was saying to my dad. He did the same to. He dismissed Ms. Boring Life and told said "Yaaaaa but you can never really trust those guys [the dollar store], you don't know how long it's been sitting there." Current Mood: a little more decent (Comment on this)
1:17 pm	Been Thinking "I've been thinking all of a sudden i wanted to work with old people while i was at work. i just got a call and i just was like i want to work in a retirement home. i was also thinking about how much we don't know about our friends or the next person... i also realized how much i liked Coldplay he... let's see Dawson's Creek is a great show... I was also was just thinking about how like lucky we have it now a days i just put in a cd that i really wanted to listen to, i got to hear it immediately, no rewinding or anything like that, it doesnt take a long time. i just listen and get exactly what i want...and just how much we have... it's pretty tight.....................thank God." I said this a long time a go and recorded it on my phone. I wanted more space on my phone so i needed to delete some stuff so i decided to write down what i said and delete it. As long as i've had it on my phone i barely even listened to it. kinda weird. I think i can rememeber how i felt when i talked to that old lady or man on the phone when i was at my old job. They probably wanted some product and then the conversation changed and i didn't care about selling. they probably just started telling me about their life. i was just so into what whoever was saying that i had to remember that... damn, i dont even remember what the product was. I dont rememebere what made me think of why we never know what people are going through. i dont rememeber why at that point it was so strong. hm. Current Mood: decent (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
3:08 pm	PT 2: chenda wakes, water, picnic, no work, 2 hour convo So im sleeping all faded and in my unconcious stated i feel light headed, hot and thirsty. since i was sleeping i couldn't drink water like i really wanted to. lucky enough Chenda called me and asked if i wanted to go to the salsa club. i wanted to but i was scheduled to work at 10pm that night. downer. so i tell her a little about my night before and i thank her for waking me up cause i was thirsty and i was hot. so we got off the phone and i drank 2 large glasses of water immediately. then i take a large glass of water to my room. i put on some light clothes, open my window and turn on the fan in my room. good. so im kinda thinking about how im suppose to be at this church picnic in 2 hours and im do tired. so i sleep pass the time it starts and i think that noone is gonna come home to pick me up. later, after i sleep a little bit, my mom calls me from where ever she was at and asks if im going to the chirch picnic. I'm like "heaven yea." she says she is going to be home in a minute and coming "in and out." so i get ready at normal speed cause i was nice and also cause my mom usually leaves 5 to 30 minutes after you are already ready to go. so we go to the picnic and she vents to me about something that didnt care to hear for. Oh and im assuming she was venting. So we get to the picnic and i talk to the elder men from my church and they were teasing, bragging, and telling me about how they just "whooped" the "young guys" 2 times in basketball. was apalled. i almost put a brown paper bag used for a 40 over my head in shame. SO i let them brag until my pastor says something like "yall" got beat. I was like "hold up hold up. who is yall? i just got here! lets play again.!" basically we played again and us "young guys" murked these fools. we beat them so bad in two games. the total points scored in the two games for us and them was 22 to 7. we beat them 11 to 3 the first time. and then, i think, 11 to 4 the second time. that was fun. the old heads were tired as mug. then i played kick ball with the kids in my church and that was fun and hilarious. these kids ranged from 4 to 11. they were running the wrong way, missing the ball as slow as it was rolled, arguing over who gets to pitch, running throughout the field and passing the bases so they wouldnt get hit by the ball, etc. it was just funny. people were arguing over who got to go next. they pretty much represent how adults are now. but sometimes i like to make statements without backing them up. so the picnic ends at 5pm blah blah blah and i have to go home to sleep since i have work at 10pm. I'll finish this later (Comment on this)
Monday, January 30th, 2006
4:02 pm	Chain of Events PT 1: PARTY These past four days have been prtty uplifting. Day 1 Friday. Partyd like a 8 bitches on a bitch boat. David threw a party for nat amer Tony and it was prtty tight. First we got there and was prtty much just a couple of us there. David and I prtty much did this funny Dance Simon Says game where we would dance for like 15 seconds and the next person would have to copy it. it was so funny but intresting see how much we remembered. so damn hilarious. then we joked around with some old frineds from high school. at this point it was just me, nata tony, david, ray ray, kelly aka cricket, her roomate (forgot name, maybe jen), Emily form hs and Emily's friend. it was good times and the party wasnt even close to starting. basically it did atart and jay and I lost to Tony and some other kid in beer pong. but that was luck. I fot to talk to Aleigha who i barely speak with anymore. Stephen, Greg, Steve Oh, and Bonnie showed up and they were funny. the house was nice as hell. i was outside most of the time. then it broke up cause the cops came and kelly got a ticket for noise. thats bullshit like a mug. well me, david, steve oh, and tony go to taco bell and then i see a part of steven that i havent. we were talking to a homeless man basically and steve told that guy that he could find a half way house for him to live if this guy was willing to work. IT was cool because he was all sincere and shit. i was kinda nice so i talked to the dude and sat outside in front of taco bell with him but steve.... i dont know he just handled his business i guess. After a while at taco bell ton dropped me off at Arm and Jaks house. that was pretty fun. havent seen Chenda in a while so that was cool. i also got to meet some of Chendas friends like ummmmm i just forgot. i remember Corey of cours cuz that fool was funny as hell. As soon as i waled in he was like "Whats up Selase. I'm Corey and im drunk." i was dying after that. I salsa danced with Chenda for a little bit. i actually forgot that happened until she told me. oh yea, the guys names were Thomas, Corey....Mickey, Lavel(who was passed out so i didnt talk to him), and i dont remember the other two even though i had a good conversation with one of them. but it was fun at their apartment. recording people when they think im taking a picture HAHAHAHHHAHAHA F ING LEWSERS. but then we went to IHOP and i think my omelette was the best thing i have ever gotten from IHOP. IT WAS LOADED LIKE A LOODED OMELETTE! and then i thought that 3 pancakes, that might have been jennys, were mine. after i finshed 74% of my food, i realized that maybe the pancakes werent mine cause i was getting prtty full. then when jenifer dropped me off home :) i talked to one of the dudes about life and it was a damn decent conversation. it was one of those Music Off conversations. good times. Well i got home and slept, for I had to go to a church picnic 7 hours later. PT 2: chenda's wake up call, water, picnic, no work, 02:05:15 conversation. PT 3: church, kid comes in to preach, keys in car, long time no see, food with sister, new dance. Pt 4: Bus ride, Yduts, Tony, Jil, Brit, Kevin Gates (whole name needed), Ramon, Ashlea, Amy, now. Current Mood: thoughtful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
2:25 pm	so today i had a good converstation with a man that considers himself homeless. it was pretty tight. i'll have to finish this later though. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
4:02 am	listening to new music and hearing new things in it... the new music that is modest mouse- blame it on the tetons "Oh we mumble loudly, wear our shame so proudly. Wore our blank expressions, trying to look interesting. Blame it all on me cuz God I need a cold one now." I was reading an entry while listening to modest mouse and i couldn't get past the first sentence cause the song i was listening to was distracting as shit. i have headphones on. anyways i think "i need a song that i can play loud that is mellow" the very next song was Blame It On The Tetons. i've had it on repeat for the longest time now and maybe another day i will play this and magically know the words. i chose that part of the song up there cause i soon as i finished reading, that line came up. and my mind now had to focus on something else beautiful that wasnt the focal point of the picture. perfect. but this isnt what i really wanted to write about. Current Mood: numb Current Music: not coldplay but... (Comment on this)
Friday, January 6th, 2006
3:19 am	all theese songs on this mix cd i made apply to me. my sister made it for me off of my request. crazy. i was gonna put songs on here but i havent really had the time. hm. this is nice. this is nice. this is very nice. i cant hear. i cant see. i cant feel. why? cause this is nice. this is new. my perfect cd that i let someone borrow so i cant listen to it but eh. who cares? why? cause this is nice. this is a picture that you and yours will all see differently and understand differently. i need some music. this is per... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
2:26 am	Y Shit Livejournal Is Smooth As Shit I love it how people are all poetic and shit Their metaphors used to describe pieces of their lives and shit its intresting and shit i learn fom my friends and non friends on hear and shit i read you read we read and shit thank you... and shit (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 30th, 2005
8:50 pm	5 months ago Today at inpulse my trainer put us newbies on the phone. It seemed like everyone was hella nervous. We were all sitting there with our new spiffy headphones waiting for calls. Everyone was making nervous ass comments like “I hope I get a patient cutomer” or some other bs statements. I was apart of the bs statement group so im not gonna hate. Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
8:39 pm	edit tk's story In your movie when the teacher is walking out, you forgot about the little girl that cared for the teacher and looked up to her. when the teacher is leaving the girl stops, while she is walking with her friends, and starts to wave with a sad face. The teacher is getting ready to smile but the girl's friends say "Come on Martha! let's go.(meaning: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING LOOKING AT THE HOBAG! LEEEETTTTSS fucking GO!)" i'm listening to Modest Mouse right now. Here's some quotes: "I'm trying to drink away the part of the day that i can not sleep away" slash "I got this thing that i consider my only heart of fucking people over" slash "Do you believe what you’re saying? Yeah, right now but not that often" slash "You're saying words But you know I ain't listening" slash "Please shut up!" slash (look up the lyrics for black cadillacs and you'll see a lot of shit in there that makes sense. I was gonna take on quote from that song but almost the whole thing was perfect. but I did really like this part) "I didn't die and I ain't complainin'. I ain't blamin' you. I didn't know that the words you said to me meant more to me than they ever could you? I didn't lie and I ain't sayin' I told the whole truth. I didn't know that this game we were playin' even had a set of rules." slash "You said that you did, but you didn't understand. I know that starting over is not what life's about. But my thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth. My thoughts were so loud." slash" Gotta know right now!" slash "The good times are killing me" slash "I didn't say much of anything at all." slash " "Dont you worry we'll all float on"... This is crazy. I picked my favorite Modest Mouse songs and picked the best lyrics from them and realized something. I actually picked Lyrics that applied to [my life and surroundings.] It’s New Year’s day and I’ve looked at this probably once or twice in the past 5 months or something. I wrote the above spring semester of 2005. The part in brackets was something else. I edited an almost year old note. but there was a lot of other things in there but i took em out. it's intresting reading this again thinking about what was going on then. hm (Comment on this)
8:33 pm	Old Friends Made Fresh I was going through some pictures the other day because i am planning on filling up some poster boards of pictures and putting them on my walls. i came across a bunch of Ourtown and Anytown pictures and i saw this girl that i called "Little Sister" and still is. I think she was a grade or two below me and we made good friends at the camp. We also were in the same discussion groups where we talked about our life. This included our family, friends, school, good times, bad times and just a lot of this personal things that we were comfortable enough to share with some new people in our lives. This was the summer of 2003. I miss that camp very much. The real reason why I am writing this is so i can say what i've been thinking and wanting to say for the longest time. I don't know why now all of a sudden but... eh. Emily, i wish we could have kept in consistent contact since the camp and I am glad that i got to meet you. i miss you and wish you well. I'm not saying this cause i don't think we will talk again, but because we haven't. countless times i'm like "man i want to call Emily" and something remedial would stop me from calling you. something like i couldn't use a family members cell phone cause of the time a day, someone on the internet, or blah blah blah blah. but overall i miss you and i have a lot of love for you. I am NOT CONTENT with my efforts. will. i will be calling you in the near future. I previously wrote 'neat furture' but hopefully it can be a 'near and neat' future..... jk. peace out Emily (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 22nd, 2005
4:41 am	yellow i forgot, i can play yellow on the pieano. it's the ghetto one finger version. not the REAL COLDPLAY I MAKE ALOT A MONEY CAUSE A WHOLE BUNCH PEOPLE LIKE MY VOICE, MUSIC, AND LYRICS INCLUDING SOME FRECKLE FACED WEIRD NAMED POUGHKEEPSIENS! but hey, it was called yellow. theodorous rex (1 Comment |Comment on this)
4:30 am	i'm tring to learn how to play the piano. it immediately adds to my last as Things I Do That Are Pure and Pure. Piano is in there with basketball, i guess reading now, dancing too. what's great about dancing is that i'm not even close to being tired of the way i normally dancing and i'm finding new types that are just as good or even better. the ability to follow and lead is amazing. especially when the i get to the point when the one i'm dancing with seems like they know my next 3 moves in advance. reaction, smooth, fun, smiles, goffiness, exaggerations, solo, and duet. I'm starting to think something. i'm starting to thing that it's about time to put headings on my memos. you know what i mean. so that my 'boss' doesn't walk up to me and say to my f a c e "HEEEEEEEY Selaseeee. what's happening? (even though my boss doesn't care.) Yeah WE are puting headings on our memos now... try not to F up. mmmmmk? thaaaaanks." well, i put headings on most of my memos but i think the spelling, grammer, ideas, thoughts, keys, words, notes, moves, or unison on some of them are incorrect, false, tales, bs, and down right strange and unheard of. and that's why the air is clean. peace (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
3:49 am	Stress, Anxiety, and Depression. I'm just a messenger. four calls i'll wrap it up for you. Hispanic girl. 16, 17, 0r 18. Feel like people are looking at you. Push people away. drugs. Mad over nothing. Never told anybody. just keep it to yourself. Feel like you're not going to do anything in life. "Why did god put me here?" Not talkative and they (people at job or school) judge me. Nevous talking around people. Feel like you have to impress people. Try to be PERFECT. Doesn't feel like she can be comfortable around people including boyfriend and friends. Fake laughs around them. This is what was said during two other calls. Sleep all the time. Mean towards kids. diagnosed with anxiety. 4 years depressed. Don't like to go out. don't like to open curtains to let the sunlight in. sleep too much and at the same time it is hard to go to sleep. angry alot. has a 15 year old daughter and her daughter has a son. Last call. this lady sounded like she knew how to act like she was okay. her voice wasn't weak or depressed sounding. these were her answeres to my quwestions. depressed for a year and a half. bad marriage. heart disease. 3 kids. bad job. then she said "You pick." and then she laughed. i didnt even say i understand. It was "Understood" gee (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
5:20 pm	im done with everything. this feeling right now is great. this feeling right now sucks. so that equals content. think of all the things in your life right now and give them a plus one minus one. friends= +1 my body after playing hours of basketball= -1 so +1-1= 0 so im content (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
2:24 am	I Wonder It's 2:30am and i was on break at work chilling with a stogie. i got a pretty good depressing call from a lady and my mind was waundering. ive calculated in my head that since ive worked here ive talked to about 5000 people. i wonder how many of them i will meet. kinda crasy and unimportant. hmmm (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
5:12 am	From Sleepy to Awake It's 5:13am right now... and i've been awake since monday 2pm. well, i actually got about three hours of worthless (even though appreciated) sleep. Did i want to work from 10p to 5am today.... hell no. i was gonna switch todays shift for tomorrow cause i didnt think ii was gonna make it. before i went to work though, i took a shower and that definately woke me up....but it was kinda that "your awake now but in an hour your gonna be dead asleep" awakeness*. awakeness is not a word. so i got to work all driggy and draggy (a phrase i just made up) and not expecting to much. i showed up about 15 minutes late looking forward to nothing, nada, zin. don't you hate it when you gotta do something you really don't want to do.... well sometimes, what you think you don't want to do, you appreciate later. and you probably can think of times when you wanted to do something, did it, and was like WTF. well i got to work and take in averagely difficult calls that deal with stress, anxiety, and depression. I also took some other calls, that i usually dont like, and succeded. in about 6 and a 1/2 hours i made about $105. damn damn and damn was i surprised. my sales coach gave me sales coach advice and i heard. but didnt expect for it to work now. i was thinking that this stuff wasnt gonna kick in for a coupla months. well it kicked in now. ... $105...6 1/2 hours... $16.15 an hour. Do you smell what the rock is cooking? shhhhh...smell...(dont you like how i told you to 'shhhhh' and then had the nerve to tell you to smell instead of listen...magic, naaah im just stupid like that) ANYWAY blah blah blah im tired and about to go home and sleep, probaly check facebook, or even better see what others added to LJ recently. peace Selasophy p.s. and remember where 'driggy and draggy' came from. SAY CHEESE :) p.s.s. after my speel chec i relizzed that i spelled some things rong..... f it. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: things that people at your job talk about (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
5:24 am	all calm now let me prepare you. have you ever been so mad that you only had enough control to not blow up physically or verbally. today my mom told me to get the phone for no important reason. one of my friends wasn't having the best times so I guess i consciously, but not to be disrespectful, ignored what she said. luckily, my friend was towards the end of what she had to say and my mom gets on the phone and basically calls me out. WHILE i was getting off the phone (verbally saying "bye, and i'll talk to you later, or i'll get on aol") my mom DIS CO NNECTS the phone line. my temperature rose exponentially. i felt very warm. i speak/argue/raise my voice appropriately but in a testing "im an adult" way. i was ye close to losing my mind...only on the inside not the outside. that's just how angry i was. I only allowed for my mother and i talk argue for about 30 seconds and went to my room. she kept on going as she walked all over the house but i couldn't hear more than 4% of what she was saying. I walked out and quickly expressed (yelled) that i understood her and went back in my room... now what. Now, heres my options. I could have lit my house on fire with my Superman Heat Vision, punched a whole through the GREAT WALL of CHINA, have lunch with George Bush, or just thought about how pissed off i am. instead of being pissed I tried something that i usually, almost never, do. I prayed for God to humble me, forgive me, forgive my mom, and help me forgive my mom. And to help me handle that situation better next time via physically, mentally, verbally, and spiritually. All of sudden i smiled and i got this weird feeling. as if someone that i am battling complimented me. as if i liked some girl for a long time and in the blink of an eye, had no interest in her. to the point where if i found out that she like me, i would have shrugged and simultaneously think and say "o well." hmm. i guess it's my testimony of remembering God in a time that i usually wouldn't. just thought i'd share. Current Mood: and tired Current Music: my mind and typing (1 Comment |Comment on this)